A good friend should always tell you the truth, they should be honest with you? Sometimes this is easier said than done. A friend who cares about you will not want to see you upset or hurt but also they will not want to see you make an idiot of yourself, unless they are also dressed up in the same fairy outfit sprinkling fairy dust on unsuspecting passer-bys but that’s a whole other blog!
Being honest with someone can be harder than you think. If you know what you have to say is going to be hurtful then there are ways of saying it and going about introducing the topic. The longer you let it linger the harder the delivery will be! If you have not stood back and thought about how you would feel if someone was saying to you what you are about to say to your friend, then you are not speaking from a place of love and concern for the other person, only from a place of anger and frustration. This will come across in your delivery. Ask yourself, how would I feel if I was to be told this? How would I like someone to speak to me?
I am fortunate enough to have some lovely people in my life who care about me. They have sometimes had to tell me things, pretty bluntly, that I have not wanted to hear (thank you dad and Chris!) but I have never questioned their motive or intention. Knowing they have my best interests at heart makes me listen to their advice, whether I like it or not.
If you are questioning whether a friend is justified in their words then pay attention to how you feel when they are talking to you. Do you feel remorse and a deep knowing that they are right even if you don’t want to admit it? Do you feel valued and understood? Have they given you time to talk to them about what they have said? How have you felt when you left the conversation?
Any form of relationship is work in progress. It is appreciating and respecting the other person as well as yourself. It is listening as well as talking, open communication and most of all love and understanding. We are all human beings on one big adventure called life. You will mess up now and again and you will make decisions which, on reflection, were stupid but ultimately if you have good, true, honest and loving friends by your side together you can conquer any mountain!
How would you tell a friend something which you think they would find hard to hear?