I am lucky enough to find myself surrounded by people who inspire me.
I have decided to start to invite people to guest blog in the hope that they might inspire you too.
Today’s guest blog is by Ian Timothy. Ian is a talented author and psychic who has always fascinated me with his colour card readings. In fact, that is how we met! Ian has been a source of guidance and direction for me throughout the past few years. He has published several books, podcasts and like me, has a passion for photography! If you would like to know a little bit more about him please visit: http://blogiantimothy.com
I’m ageing fast. The twilight of a life is near. I am sometimes within memories. Do I dare anticipate or guess the future? Is time the healer or a mist which rises over the mysteries of life hiding difficult experiences?
It’s impossible for me to be any other than I have become. I know of my many faults and like the addictions to alcohol and tobacco I want to give them up. Tomorrow.
Is every human like this? I knew someone once who became the focus of my anger. Many times I wondered how she could possibly put up with my madness. There was no reason to the faith she had in me. I ruined all in the end. And when the relationship was sunk. I became the Titanic settling down to the ocean floor, a wreck submerged in my own tears.
Where do we learn our methods of life? Parent, teacher, friend, close relationships, work companions. Even the media will effect how we think. Its the subtle influence of every communication. The five senses draw all into the minds melting pot which moulds and forms the persona.
Some weeks ago a friend took his life. I stop tapping these keys for a moment… I see him in my kitchen laughing, enjoying, wine, beer, food, all to excess. Then we pick up the guitars and strum a few chords. Later, we listen to our favourite Punk L.P’s the turn table spins and theres laughter. Coffee, maybe a whiskey and the evening’s over. Each time he came to visit the routine was the same, Lizzy and I loved those evening’s. The sadness of the end could be all that is left. Not for me. I do not wish to reason the why. Work it out. Ask the questions. There is no point its the happiness which matter’s. There is no room for the darkness.
Sometimes we should run. To escape without fear of the future seems to me an attitude, way, method, principal which I should have adopted earlier. I will run now without a second thought. You see, I no longer care what people think of me. In my escape and cowardice I have become free. I can now make mistakes without the fear of the opinion of others. Its a paradox I’m now a full blown coward and I fear nothing. If I don’t like the individual or the situation I’m away. There’s not enough force of will left to correct mistakes.
I do not wish to discover or guess if my friend ran or was pushed. I loved him for who he was, not the last choice he made.
Above all, in the flight away from danger (its is dangerous to stay within unhappy or discordant situations, relationship, friendships) I’ll take nothing with me. I harbour no grudges, dislike, hatred or angst. Goodness there is
little enough time ahead to LIVE! And because of this what time I have left, be it a couple of days or a couple of decades, is more refined, subtle, kind and my interactions are more of wanting to discover the personality and character of those I meet. I have more interest in other people than the old way of needed them to have an interest in me. Its an easier way, less exhausting.
Taking delight in the strangeness of men and the unfathomable reasons to their why’s, how’s, where’s and when’s has for the moment, removed the need to think or question statements made during a conversation. Theres no need to do other than relax and if the individual or the situation is not to my taste I walk slowly away.
Writing is my life. From morning until sleep I’m jotting. A three word sentence or a ten page essay, the connected words become visible expressions of my inner being. This short essay is written within a free flow of thought. There’s no notes, pictures or reference. I’m hoping this is the way that people now perceive me. Outward, truthful, not afraid to express my real feelings. There are no emergency stops in my conversation or writing. No fear of correctness or offending others. Although, truth to tell I have little to say these days. I am listener not leader of discussion.
Many friendships become sinking ships because there is too much interest in the entertainment and not the voyage. When the ship hits the hidden reef it’s abandon ship each one to their own devices. I no longer travel with unknown passengers as the past has proved the methods of fair weather friends.
It seems to me, there is one real choice, which is to be within the understanding of love. Kindness and allowing others to be within their happiness or sadness sweetens the life experience. I no longer take on the problems of another or worry how to solve the odd one which comes my way. Its not that lacking of compassion or recklessness has become part of my character, I simply wish to be content.
Its no surprise to me that all of those I listen to who are happy have a similar attitude. It will be of no surprise to you that most are ‘older and wiser’. It the way and it always will be. What is wonderful is I have never had as many real friends. Stronger relationships. And real love surrounding my life.
Many Thanks to Sami for allowing me to muse on her Blog x